Paradox of imperfection

Last Thursday, I had the privilege of speaking to more than 1,300 practitioners and executives in the project management profession from around the globe. The live one-hour webinar was on the importance of humility to career success.

I spent the last 10 minutes of the session answering a few of the questions posted during my presentation. One of those questions, though simple, caught me completely off guard. Here it is:

What is the difference between Humbleness and Humility?

I think I was caught off guard because I wasn't expecting a question addressing the English language. Later I realized that maybe I should have, because the audience came from different parts of the world, some of which do not have English as their first language.

While responding to this question, I committed a faux pas. I said that "Humility" is a noun and "Humble" is a verb.

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

Photo by Photoholgic on Unsplash

It wasn't until a few hours later as I reflected on the session that it occurred to me that "humble" is not a verb. It's an adjective!

I felt like rushing back to the webinar to correct the error, but alas it was too late!

Then I remembered that the session was recorded and will be available for on-demand viewing in perpetuity. Can you imagine the horrors?! My mistake is available for anyone and everyone to see forever.

How humiliating!

Moments later as I thought of this, I'm reminded that I'm not perfect. And imperfect people make mistakes. Yes, it will sting, especially if like me, you're the type who doesn't like making such mistakes.

However, all it shows is that we're human.

How do you respond to those moments when your human frailty rears its ugly head?

Do you beat down on yourself and see yourself as a no-good who never does anything right?

Or are you at the other end of the spectrum where you explain away or find reasons (or excuses) for your mistakes?

I don't think being at one or the other end is good. We need to find a balance.

Acknowledge your mistakes when you make them (especially if others are involved) and make  a commitment to improve. But you should also understand that to err is human and give yourself some grace.

It's a balancing act. Finding the balance can help you become more grounded in accepting yourself for who you are, while at the same time making every effort to improve and be better where necessary.

It reminds me of this quote from James Hillman:

Loving oneself is no easy matter because it means loving all of oneself including the shadow where one is inferior and socially unacceptable. The cure is a paradox requiring two incommensurables: the moral recognition that these parts of me are burdensome and intolerable and must change; and the loving, laughing acceptance which takes them just as they are, joyfully, forever.

Yes, you're a paradox of imperfection. Embrace it for completeness.