Good morning, ladies and gentlemen! This is your captain speaking. The maintenance crew has done all that they could do, to resolve the issues with the two air-conditioning systems on this aircraft without success. As a result, we're going to have to de-plane for a later departure on a different airplane. Our new departure time will be 4:00 pm. On behalf of Delta Airlines, we sincerely apologize for this situation."
Before this announcement was over, the guy in the seat directly in front of me let out a very loud sigh of exasperation. That expression of his frustration was his fourth since we boarded the flight; and you could say it was probably justified.
The flight from Atlanta to Omaha this past Saturday was originally scheduled to depart at 9:42 am. We had boarded about half an hour before that time and had already been informed thrice that the maintenance team was working on resolving the problem with the air-conditioning systems. Each announcement had been followed by a sigh of irritation by our friend in seat 5C.
From now on, I'll just call him Mike.
That last announcement came around 10:15 am and it contained the unacceptably late new departure time of 4:00 pm. So, it's easy to understand Mike's audible sighs of vexation. Maybe he was in a hurry. Maybe he needed to be in Omaha as early as possible for something very important.
I looked around the cabin at the other roughly 150 passengers on that flight and wondered if none of us had any urgent or important stuff waiting for us at our destination. I didn't hear a peep from anyone else. Only Mike let out sounds of frustration when each of the announcements came on.
That doesn't mean he was the only person disappointed with our situation. He could have been the only one close enough to my seat to expressed his annoyance audibly. So, what could be going on with him? Or with anyone else with a similar tendency to immediately convey their infuriation visibly for all to see?
Whether it's an audible sigh or punching the wall, and everything in-between, they all come from a low level of an emotional intelligence skill called Impulse Control.
Although it didn't happen in the flight example I experienced this past weekend, people with low impulse control can throw tantrums and lash out because they’re frustrated for not getting what you want. In the end, their explosive behaviors still don’t get them what they want!
So, what exactly is Impulse Control?
It's the ability to delay an urge, drive, or temptation to act. In other words, it involves avoiding rash behaviors and decision-making, being composed and being able to put the brakes on angry, aggressive, hostile, and irresponsible behaviors.
In general, people with effective impulse control have the capacity to think before they act. They have a good control of their emotions, their words, their behaviors, and they use all these to their advantage. You can begin to take back control of those instinctive impulses by following a simple 3-step process I call the 3 Ps.
Pause. Stop and resist your initial automatic urge to act right away. Just do nothing for a moment and allow the rational side of your brain enough time for processing. Research says it takes about six to eight seconds for this to happen. It may be difficult at the beginning especially if you’ve become accustomed to reacting quickly. But with practice, you will get better at it.
Ponder. Take time to think and process what’s going on – consider your options. Ask yourself, “Does this situation call for immediate action?” Even if immediate action is required, it probably doesn’t need to be faster than the eight seconds your brain needs, to come up with more reasonable solutions.
Proceed. Go ahead and pick the best response for the situation. The best response usually doesn’t involve doing something that makes you sound or look out of control, neither does it include insulting another person or doing something that could destroy your relationship with them.
Follow the 3 Ps, and you'll well be on your way to improving you IP - that's Impulse Control in case you're wondering.
Yeah I know. IC doesn't rhyme with 3 Ps, so I took literary license.
Sue me! 😏