Help Needed But Not Wanted

There’s one key behavior in us human beings that baffles me. Even after understanding the reason we engage in it, I still continue to marvel at why we seem to be the greatest enemies of our own progress.

Mason is the head of a Project Management Office (PMO) for a large organization. As someone in a VP position, you can say safely assume that he’s had some measure of success in his career. But if you talk to him, he’s the first to acknowledge that his career path has neither been smooth nor linear. He believes it has taken him longer than his peers to get to where he is today.

He also admits readily that he has not yet arrived where he wants to be. He still wants to move up a couple of rungs on the career ladder. So, when he was presented with a development opportunity that can help him in this area, he knew immediately that this was for him. He was excited and signed up for the course.

When it was time to begin, he was nowhere to be found.

This is the scenario I’ve seen over and over with many of us. And it continues to baffle me.

We recognize our deficiency in a particular area of our lives. We understand what we need to do to close the gap and overcome the deficiency. We’re presented with an opportunity to do just that. We get excited and commit to following through on the opportunity.

But we don’t follow through.

When it’s time to forge ahead and put the pedal to the metal, we go missing in action.

Early last month, I offered my revamped masterclass series, The Foundation of Thriving Careers, free of charge to a limited number of those who want to understand what it will take to accelerate their careers. It will take a weekly commitment over just three weeks. Signup was open for a few days and many signed up. When it was time to start, only half of them showed up.

That could have been due to many reasons. Of course, I understand that life happens to many of us, sometimes in unexpected ways. But I’ve seen this scenario play out so frequently with different groups of people, so I think the reason for this apathy is much more foundational.

I strongly believe that mindsets created unconsciously as a result of beliefs over time play a central role. They drive many of our unconscious behaviors that tend to short-circuit our successes in life. Interestingly, the masterclass program I offered was designed to help bring this to light. If only . . .

Well, what has this got to do with you?

It’s the beginning of a new year when many people make resolutions to do something different. Data shows that only 9% of those who make such commitments keep them for the entire year. About 23% quit in the first week and only 36% make it past the first month.

If you don’t want to continue marking time on the same spot year after year with something that you know you need to change, then you need to be intentional and focused on making the change. The Foundation of Thriving Careers can help you understand why your career foundation may need to be strengthened.

If that’s you, send me a note and I will include you in the next cohort of the program starting next month.

You'll be thankful you did.

Passion Uncovered

I have heard leadership gurus encourage people to focus their skills development in the area of their natural strengths and passions. I agree that this is a good approach to becoming excellent in what you’re already good at. But I have since discovered that this alone is not enough to uncover other potentials someone may have.

If I had focused only on what I was naturally passionate about, I would not be speaking to thousands around the world today at conferences and through seminars and workshops. I would definitely not be a coach, encouraging the development of leadership skills needed for executive-level positions. These are things I'm very passionate about today.

Yet, none of them was on my radar 30 years ago.

As a young engineer at the beginning of my professional career, if you had told me that three decades later, I'll be speaking to audiences in addition to coaching leaders on leadership and emotional intelligence topics, I would have told you to go have your head checked out by a psychiatrist.

That's because I was your typical nerd. Social interaction was not only challenging for me, but it was also draining, especially with people I wasn't familiar with. When it came to public speaking. I would rather be dead and buried six feet under than stand to speak in front of three people.

But today, these have been relegated to the lands of the forgotten. What changed?

I did.

My work experiences provided the unique opportunities I needed. After college, my first job as a service engineer with Xerox required me to speak regularly with customers. Later, with another company, I began the journey of being a part of teams that executed different projects around the world.

My jobs helped me to gradually develop the interpersonal and speaking skills I was lacking. After overcoming my initial fear of public speaking, I was able to hone those skills through Toastmasters.

I didn't consciously try to overcome my fear of public speaking. It happened as my work experience pushed me into many situations where I had to give presentations and deliver training sessions to the users of the products created by my projects.

Suddenly, I discovered that my heart was not beating as fast as it used to, anytime I had to stand in front of others to speak. Of course, I had to dig deeper to hone the skills but the initial development came from those several years of unintentional practice.

Today, I'm not only NOT afraid to speak to audiences, I love it. I look forward to every opportunity to motivate and engage audiences. I also enjoy the one-on-one dialogue while coaching clients or just chatting with people in general just to know them better.

Through my journey of growth, here's what I've found out: you don't know where all of your passions lie until you develop the skills that will help you unveil them. Skill development can lead to passion. Enjoyment in hobbies, work, and life often comes from doing things that we are competent at.

More than anything else, we first learn to do something before we discover that we're good at it. And many of us tend to enjoy doing things we're good at. The passion follows afterward. This reminds me of a quote from Cal Newport: “Passion comes after you put in the hard work to become excellent at something valuable, not before. In other words, what you do for a living is much less important than how you do it.”

As a result, instead of trying to find the one thing in life that you “think” you are most passionate about, why not take time to develop other skills and see where they lead you? Those new skills could lead you on paths to new and greater passions that you never thought of.

So, is there anything that you think you're not good at? Have you tried to spend more than a few minutes to learn how to do it?

You may want to invest some time to find out.

Doing so could uncover a new passion you never considered.