Human existence can seem monotonous at times. The daily grind of getting through each day’s tedious and often repetitive activities could be boring. That’s until a pivotal event forces us to rethink and reassess.
My family experienced one such significant event this past week as we learned of the sudden passing of my sister-in-law’s husband. It was such a devastating news that it felt unreal. This type of experience forces you to reevaluate what you consider the important things in life.
As my wife and I spent most of last week with her sister while grieving the loss of her husband, it was heart-warming to see their circle of friends come around her to provide comfort. Every one of those who visited had good things to say about the departed.
Knowing the man, I agree with almost everything they said. Even though he wasn’t perfect (because no one is), he was a compassionate and kind-hearted man who loved his family deeply. As the tributes were pouring in from each person, the irony of the situation stuck me.
People were saying wonderful things about someone who was not there to receive those accolades. We tend to do that, don’t we? I think we do this due to our unspoken expectation that this gesture will provide some comfort for the loved ones left behind.
But when you think it through, how in the world do we expect that paying such homage would alleviate their grief and sufferings? To me, it seems to do the opposite. I think doing this amplifies the loss. Unfortunately, this scenarios plays out very frequently.
You see it at funerals where people give speeches and eulogies espousing how wonderful the person was. Wouldn’t it be more impactful if we say these things to their faces, when they could really appreciate the kind words being said about them?
As I thought of this, I realized that while we cannot do anything about those already gone, we sure can try harder with those who are still here.
So, here’s my challenge to you this week: Reach out to those you hold very dear (personal or professional) and let them know how much you appreciate their influence in your life. Be specific and share with them at least one area of your life they have impacted.
Life is too short for us to waste it on arguments and quarrels. Interestingly enough, this is what we are wont to do with people that are supposed to be the closest to us. This is especially true with parent-child and sibling relationships. These are the strongest relationships we have but they’re also the ones we frequently take for granted.
If your parents are still with you, why not tell them how much you cherish them when you still have the time? Do it from time to time. Quit the approach that they know how much you love them, so you don’t have to say it.
They don’t have to have won “parent of the year” awards, but they gave you life, nurtured you and most likely supported you during your growing years. Many of us would not be where we are today without the support, love, and care of our parents. No matter how high-handed or “controlling” we think they were, it may be good to reflect on what your life would have been without their strong influences, protections, and provisions.
I’m not asking you to give false platitudes and say what you don’t mean. But if you’re going to be saying great things at their eulogy, don’t wait until it’s too late. They may be gone before you get another chance. Give them your gratitude when they can be there to receive and appreciate it.
Siblings are notorious for getting on one another’s nerves. Yet these are the people that most of us have known for most (if not all) of our lives. We grew up with them. The bond we share with our siblings can be one of the strongest ever. Yet, those bods could have become weak due to personal, philosophical, or political differences.
But as the saying goes, blood is thicker than water. So, instead of incessantly complaining about their annoying behaviors, why not tell them the positive impact they’ve had in your life? Rather than grumbling about what they’re not doing well, share with them the positive attributes you’ve noticed in them.
None of us know how much time we have left on this planet. Many people leave their homes each morning with a plan to return in the evening, but do not. Without reflection, most of us live under the illusion that we have control over how long we live, especially when we’re still young and active. The honest truth is that we do not. Accidents, heart attacks, and ruptured brain aneurysms (just to name a few) can take lives suddenly.
Let’s cherish the time we have with our loved ones and communicate such to them. This is especially true for those with whom we would live with the regrets of not expressing how we feel when they’re with us.
Living with such regrets can make for a frustrating existence. Don’t let that be your portion.