It happens all the time.
Someone does something that you find offensive, and what do you do? If you're human (as I suspect that you are), it's very likely that you'd do what many of us tend to do.
We take offense.
What follows immediately after being offended depends on a range of factors - from your personality to the history between you and the offender. You may lash out and give them an earful. You could also keep it in and not breathe a word even though you're fuming inside.
Either way, how you handle the offense may not end there. You may brood over it and spend a long time thinking about the injustice of what they've done. You plot your revenge and plan how you're going to execute the vengeance. You need to make them feel the heavy impact of their hurtful behavior, right?
Well, depending on how deep the hurt is, this vengeful crusade can consume you and take over control of your life. Anytime you come across anything that reminds you of the person who offended you, your heart skips a beat; and not in a good way. In those moments, dark emotions overtake you.
At every instance when this happens, your creative energy is sapped and your rational thinking faculty become impaired. In so doing, you actually become temporarily incapacitated. You're not able to function at your optimal best. When this scenario plays out frequently over a period of time, you begin to cut short your own success unawares.
Meanwhile, the person who offended you is running free. They're most likely completely oblivious to what their behavior has caused in you. While you're being weighed down by the effects of the negative emotions coursing through your body, they're enjoying their life to the fullest.
Without realizing it, you have ceded control of your life to them even though they're not aware of it. You have allowed them to continuously dictate the terms of your existence without their realization. You've become a captive, held in chains by your thoughts. There's now only one way out.
Forgiveness.
Anytime we hear that word, it seems to have religious connotations for many people, and for good reasons.
This past weekend, Christians around the world celebrated Easter as we remember the sacrifice of Jesus in dying for the sins of mankind. His suffering, death, and resurrection brought the forgiveness of sins for anyone who chooses to place their trust in that finished work on the cross.
So, it's no remiss that the word brings up spiritual implications. But it's also equally important in this scenario.
In human relationships, many of us seem to think that forgiving someone who has offended us is an act for the benefit of the offender. As a result, we could choose to not forgive, especially if we've been so hurt by their offense. We don't want to let them off so easily. So, we hold on to the offense and keep ruminating over the hurts.
But as I stated earlier, doing this keeps you captive by the offense. So, forgiveness is not really for the offender. Forgiveness is for the person who's offering it.
Forgiveness does set the captive free. But the captive it sets free is not the offender. It's the person who gives it. It sets you free from the bondage that those negative emotions have held you.
So, is there someone you need to forgive for something? It doesn't matter how egregious the offense was. Taking an offense and holding onto it for a long time destroys one person only: YOU.
It's time to forgive and let the captive go free. Free yourself now from the bondage of unforgiveness.
You owe yourself at least that.