Asking for Help

For almost three decades, my church has been sending a team every two years on a short term missions trip to different parts of Africa. Since my family became part of the church community after our move to Omaha 14 years ago, I had been involved in helping each team raise funds for the work to be done while they’re in Africa. But until about seven years ago, I never considered actually going with the team.

The major reason for this was funding.

Each member of the team had to raise funds to pay for all their expenses while on the trip - typically between $4,000 and $5,000. This is usually done by asking friends and family to contribute. If you know me well enough, you’d realize that asking for money from others is something that I would rather not do, to put it mildly. It makes me very uncomfortable. So, I concluded that if I wasn’t able to write a check to cover the entire amount for the trip, it was not  for me.

As a result, every time I was asked to go with each team, my response was the same: “I can’t go because I don’t want to ask people for money.” This continued until about eight years ago. After I gave that response to the pastor who was leading the team on the trip, he grabbed me by my shoulders, looked into my eyes, and said, “Sunday, you just need to swallow your pride and ask for help!”

Ouch!

That stung on many levels.

Later that week as I recovered from the sting, I reflected and realized that truly, it was my pride at play. I wanted to present and maintain the appearance that I had everything together when I did not. This was one of the lessons on humility that I learned and which I wrote about in my book, Nothing Higher: Why You Need to Descend in Order to Soar. Since then, I’ve learned to continually deal with this whenever it rears its ugly head.

Also, I know how beneficial it is to give to those who are in need. I write regularly in this newsletter about the importance of helping others and giving our time, talents, and resources to worthy causes. Multiple studies have shown that we’re happier and healthier when we are generous with what we have. Blessings flow in different forms towards those who give.

Then I realized something!

When I shy away from asking for, and receiving help for the missions trip, I’m denying others the opportunity to receive the blessings that would have been theirs as a result of their generosity. I definitely don’t want to do that!

So, why am I sharing all these, you ask. Well, it’s because after a 4-year hiatus due to the pandemic, we’re now preparing for another such trip to Zambia. It’s scheduled for June 2024 and I’m swallowing my pride to ask for your help in funding the trip.

The estimated total amount to be raised by each team member is US$4,000. While I know that some of you can write one check to cover the entire amount, I’m asking that you don’t do that at this time. I would love as many of you as possible to be involved in this so that the blessings that come through giving can reach more people.

If each person can give $100, the amount will be covered with 40 people. But not everyone can afford to give that amount. So, please give as little or as much as you’re able. If all you can afford is $1, $5, $10, $20 or $50, it all adds up. It’s the heart with which you’re giving that matters.

If you’re one of those willing to contribute much higher amounts, please start with the $100 and also let me know privately that you’re able to do more. If there’s still a shortfall as we get closer, I will reach out to you to let you know how you can help further.

Here are the steps you can take to give - please do it now so you don’t forget: 

• Go to https://www.bellevuechristian.com/give and click on the “ONLINE GIVING PORTAL” button

• In the “Fund” dropdown list, select “Missions”

• In the resulting “Sub Fund” dropdown, choose “Zambia 2024”

• In the “Note (optional)” box, please enter ‘“For Sunny Faronbi” so they’d know which team member you’re supporting

• Enter the amount you want to give, fill out your details, and click the “Submit” button

If you prefer to send a personal check, please make it payable to “Bellevue Christian Center” but be sure to include “Zambia 2024/Sunny Faronbi” in the annotation. The mailing address is on the web page I shared earlier.

Finally, whether you’re able to donate or not, if you’re a praying person, please consider praying for me and the team as we prepare for this trip.

I thank you for your generosity, kindness, and support.

An Unforgettable Gift

On the first day of this month, I met Cecil. He was the Uber driver who took me that day from my Airbnb to the PMI Summit I was attending at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas. The ride took about 8 minutes but I learned a lot about him during that time.

He's retired and in his sixties. But more than 20 years ago, he had spent 18 months in various countries in Africa with his wife and their two children. He also told me how he had lived in other countries in Europe and Asia which enabled each of his two children to speak six different languages.

Then he shared something fascinating with me.

The car in which I was riding was his third Tesla sedan in less than five years. He buys each one for the sole purpose of using them to give Uber rides for about two years. During that period, he would give rides to many students from the University of Nevada, Las Vegas (UNLV). Each time, after dropping them off, he would write their name and phone number on a small piece of paper and put it in a hat he has at home.

When the two-year period of driving the car is up, he would call his wife and adult children together, and they would have a raffle with a drum roll. Then a member of the family would draw a name from the hat he's been dropping the names of UNLV students.

He would gift the car to the lucky recipient.

He gave out the most recent one a few months ago to a student he had given a ride a couple of months before. He and his wife took the car to her workplace at a Wendy's restaurant location. His wife had called to be sure of when the young lady would be at work. Then he showed up to say he would like to talk to her outside about a problem with a drive-thru order.

When they got outside, his wife was waiting by the car with a giant bow on it. She was so overjoyed that she started crying. Then, his wife began to cry.

What I find impressive are the lengths Cecil and his family went to make the presentation of the gift very memorable for that young woman. Such a gift is something she's unlikely to forget for the rest of her life.

You and I may not be able to gift a car to someone every two years, but we can still do our best to make someone's day. All it takes is for us to put it at the forefront of our minds and be intentional about doing something special for someone.

It may surprise them, but that shouldn't stop us. They could be wondering why, but we shouldn’t worry about that. All we need to bother ourselves with is meeting a need that we know is there even when they may not have asked us for help. Or maybe they have.

So, when did you last do something out of the ordinary to make someone's day? If you have to think long to find out, it may be a good time to create a fresh experience.

To whom can you add value this week?

Giving of Yourself

The first time I went on a short-term mission trip to Africa, I was surprised that I had to pay in order to go. In my mind, I was doing a good thing by being willing to go and serve in a remote part of Africa, so why should I have the extra burden of bearing the costs?

I thought I was making some great sacrifices, so shouldn’t that count for something? I had to take 10 days off work, using my “hard-earned” paid time off (PTO). We were also going to work in a very remote part of Tanzania. Who knows what kinds of hardship we would have to face?

Since I was already giving a lot just to go, how does it make sense that I also had to cough up more than US$4,000 to cover my own travel and living expenses during the trip? Someone should be paying for that!

Of course, I didn’t know who that someone was supposed to be. It just wasn’t supposed to be me! I was so naïve it wasn’t even funny!

I didn’t tell anyone what I was thinking at the time (thankfully!) but it simply didn’t make sense to me that I would be making all those “sacrifices” and still had to pay my own way. After all, it wasn’t as if I was getting anything in return.

It was in that last thought that my huge mistake lay.

There may be others like me who see volunteering for something or serving others as all pain and no gain. However, if you have had the opportunity to serve anywhere, you already know the immense benefits that come from lending a helping hand, especially when it’s very much needed.

Numerous studies have shown how rewarding it can be when you serve others with your time and skills: from improving self-esteem, physical health, and longevity to increasing happiness, providing a sense of purpose, and reducing dementia risks. These, and many more, are the reasons most people have developed a heart for giving and serving.

And then, there are some who simply want to do some good in the world.

I believe that last statement is true for every member of the team from my church who chose to travel to Florida last month to help with cleanups after Hurricane Ian's devastation. I’m dedicating this edition of the newsletter to these selfless individuals.

The youngest on the team was in his mid-twenties while the oldest was a great-grandfather in his sixties. Each person paid to cover their own travel and living expenses and everyone took time off work in addition to enduring a 58-hour road trip during those eight days to serve our friends in Cape Coral, Florida.

Here are a couple of specific sacrifices a few people on the team made:

• Dan, a businessman gave up close to US$2,000 in potential income during that period.

• Amy, an experienced nurse gave up the huge income she would have received from her three clients.

• After the rest of the team left, Scott stayed behind for an extra week when he saw the magnitude of the help needed.

If you ask any of these people if it was worth it, you won’t get a hint of hesitation from them. Yes, they gave up so much in order to serve those who desperately needed it, but they would be the first to tell you that they would do it again in a heartbeat because the benefits to them were more than worth the sacrifices.

And those same benefits can be yours when you choose to give of your time, skills, and abilities to help and serve others.

There are great opportunities for each one of us when serving becomes a lifestyle and not just something we do only when there's a need created by disastrous and catastrophic events. You will begin to notice a positive change in your life when you wake up each morning asking yourself,

“To whom can I be of service today?”